


Believe it or not, there may be something even better down here

by patronsaintofthedenial



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Winged Castiel, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 05:10:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patronsaintofthedenial/pseuds/patronsaintofthedenial
Summary: There were not many things that impressed Dean Winchester. However, "impressed” was the only word that could be used to describe how he felt the morning Castiel, the angel who no one remembered when he had decided to move there, entered the bunker’s kitchen, a huge pair of shining and iridescent black wings behind his back, as if they had always been there.





	Believe it or not, there may be something even better down here

There were not many things that impressed Dean Winchester. Not anymore, when he had practically seen all that Earth had to offer, Hell and God Himself included. Expecting the unexpected was second nature to him, since things never happened the way one had planned them to be. However, and even considering this, "impressed” was the only word that could be used to describe how he felt the morning Castiel, the angel who no one remembered when he had decided to move there, entered the bunker’s kitchen while Dean was having his morning coffee and smiled at him in his usual soft and warm way, a smile that he only saved for Dean, a huge pair of shining and iridescent black wings behind his back, as if they had always been there. 

There was no logical explanation he could think of. No hunting trip, no witch curse or side effect. Nothing happened which, thinking about it, was peculiar on its own. However, that didn’t explain why, all of a sudden, he was seeing feathers long enough to touch the ground when the angel moved, so soft and delicate that there was no way they belonged to that place. 

Though Dean was aware that Castiel wasn’t human, he had never seen him as the angel he was. Even if he had come to terms with the fact that Heaven, God and the angels were a real thing, which hadn’t been easy for him, angels didn’t look any different from humans when they were inside a vessel. Castiel had shown him his wings when they had met, trying to prove to him that he was really an angel and that he was there because God had commanded it, but they were nothing more than fade shadows against a wall. That in front of him, with a shadow of its own, was different. That wasn’t Castiel proving something to him. 

Castiel. Cas. There was no place to call home if Cas wasn’t around. After so many years and being the only one who had stayed with Sam and Dean until his very end and beyond, willing to give everything he had for them, he was family, the only true friend Sam and Dean had ever had, even if he wasn’t human and there were still open wounds that would need a lot more time to heal. Cas, with his stubbornness and his little knowledge of humanity, something that usually was enough for him to make Dean smile, had proven that he was worth every fight that they had to start with the world to keep him safe next to them. However, the more he thought he knew him, the more he realized he would never really understand him completely. And there was now a pair of wings in front of him to remind him of that. 

“Hello, Dean”, Cas said, the same way he always did. He moved closer, as if he was unable to talk to Dean without stepping into his personal space. After studying Dean’s face for a moment, he tilted his head, visibly confused. “What’s the matter? You seem troubled”. 

“As if it wasn’t obvious!”, Dean almost yelled, leaving his mug on top of the table before he could drop it. “Dude, your wings”. 

“What happens with...?”. He stopped for a moment, even more confused than before. “Can you see them?”. 

Was Castiel... blushing? 

“It’s not like you’re doing a great job at hiding them”, Dean said, sounding way more annoyed than he really was. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the wings, the way they shifted from black to deep blue the moment the light fell on each single feather, quietly inviting him to touch them. 

“I was never hiding them, Dean”, said Cas, after a short while. His voice, although still low and deep, was almost a whisper. “You...”. 

Before he could finish his sentence, Sam entered the room, his long hair still wet after his morning shower. Dean looked at him as if he was waiting for a reaction, but Sam didn’t seem to notice the huge wings in Cas’s back. 

“Is everything okay?”, he asked, when the silence in the room was getting unnerving. Dean sighed, still visibly annoyed. 

“Can’t you see them?”, Dean said, pointing at Cas’s wings. Sam’s eyes followed his direction only to find thin air. He looked back at Dean. 

“What am I supposed to be seeing?”. 

“The freaking wings!”. 

“Wings?”. 

“Dean can see my wings”, said Cas, pointing out the obvious. He was still blushing, his cheeks a soft pink, something no one had seen before in him. His wings seemed to hide a little bit behind his back, too. 

“Can you?”, asked Sam, turning back to Dean, as if he could not quite understand the meaning of Cas's words. 

“Can you _not_?”, answered Dean, still unable to comprehend how something so big could only be seen by him. However, that made it seem more special, somehow. Sam shrugged. 

“Dean, we need to talk. Alone”. Castiel seemed to be ignoring what was going on in front of him, too concerned with the situation to care. By the look on his face, Dean was still the only thing that mattered in the room, even if Sam’s presence had ruined the important revelation he wanted to share with the hunter, who could not understand why that seemed to be such big of a deal for the angel. 

“Sure, buddy, when do...?”. 

But before he could say anything else, Cas disappeared, as he used to do when he panicked, with the difference that now Dean was able to see the feathers lying on the floor after the flutter of wings that preceded his disappearance. Cas really was freaking out, that much he knew. 

** 

Dean Winchester was nothing but a minuscule speck in the midst of Castiel's incommensurable existence, a human so sure of his own perdition that there was no point in denying it. He was an angel, perhaps Heaven’s fiercest warrior: there was no angel or soul in Heaven who didn’t know his name, who didn’t respect him the way someone who had done so much for Heaven’s cause deserved. Castiel had been there since before the dawn of time, and even though there was a time where he had rebelled against his orders, he was still the one who was not quite like the rest, the one who could have all of Heaven under his command, if he really wanted it. He was a natural leader, an angel meant for greater things: no human was worth of his submission, no human existence was supposed to be big enough for him to care, especially when that human was nothing but a weak ball of light the first time he found him, buried in the darkest corner of Hell with no chance of salvation. 

Why was this human any different? Why did this little soul shine so bright it burned his Grace to the point he was able to give up his loyalty to the celestial so he could be next to him? After millennia of absolute truths and blind justice, he couldn’t help himself but to wonder. He had held Dean’s soul in his arms, soothing the pain and carrying it in his own heart, and he had rebuilt him with part of his own Grace: since that moment, nothing had never been the same again. 

But of course, saving Dean had also made him doubt. Under his commands, he had discovered so many things about himself and the world around them that he hadn’t been able to return to his previous state, where everything was the way it was supposed to be, no questions allowed. He had seen the whole Universe, he had touched the stars and he had cried of joy in front of a supernova, building planets with his own hands that were his secret pride; however, there was nothing that could be compared to Dean Winchester and all he brought to his existence. 

And then, he had seen his wings. 

Dean couldn’t understand why it was so important to him. No human being knew, after all. Angels and humans were too far apart for that to be something easy to comprehend. He could have told him the moment Dean said the words, of course: Dean was the one that had seen his wings, he was the one that had changed. However, he was scared; he knew that would change everything once more, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that to happen. How would Dean react? Would he accept it? Would he run away from him? He couldn’t stand the thought of losing his human, no when he had fought so much for him. There was no life for him in that planet if he couldn’t get lost in Dean’s smile, in the way he used to leave his head fall back when he found something particularly funny or when he was too tired to even try, the green of his eyes shining through the tears he was always holding back, that weakness he never allowed the world to see. There was no point in staying there if he was not allowed to count the freckles on Dean’s face, the way he licked his lips when he was too nervous, how messy his hair was in the morning, when he didn’t even have his coffee and was too tired and grumpy to speak. He loved Dean Winchester so much that he wasn’t even able to describe it using words a human could understand and yet, he was so scared of admitting it it was ridiculous. 

He heard Dean’s prayers and sighed, coming back to him with a flutter of his wings, as he always did. He was alone in his room, as he knew Cas wanted him to be so they could talk, and even though he knew he would appear with just a word from him, it still surprised him, the same way he was still impressed by the black wings behind the angel, so big they almost didn’t fit inside the room. It almost seemed stupid, being so intimidated by a couple of wings when he had seen things so much worse while totally unimpressed. But that was Cas, after all; everything was always different when it came to him. 

“Hello, Dean”, he said, standing in front of him while Dean was on the edge of his bed. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come back”. 

“I always come back for you”. They both knew there was a time where Castiel would deny that, but that was so long ago he didn’t even remember feeling that way. He wasn’t at the mercy of men, but he definitely was at the mercy of his human. 

“What do you want to talk about? ”, asked Dean, pretending not to be affected by the way Cas had looked at him while saying those words. 

“You were not supposed to see my wings”. 

“Well, buddy, what can I say, it’s not like I’ve tried or something. I didn’t even know your wings were so... ”. He tried to look for the best way to put it. “Real”. 

“They’ve always been like this, Dean”. 

“What happened then? What changed?”. 

“You”. 

Dean’s eyes tried to find the meaning to the words inside Castiel’s eyes, but he was even more confused than before. 

“Me?”, he said, as if he was somehow offended by that. “What do you mean “me”?”. 

Castiel looked away and sighed, looking incredibly tired all of a sudden. 

“You’re not making it any easier, Dean”. 

“Cas, talk to me”, said Dean, standing up. 

Even Castiel was able to realize how much of a deal it was for Dean to demand something like that, when he had based his whole life in secrets never told and a tight restriction when it came to the emotional department. Of course, that wasn’t the first time Dean had asked Cas to open up to him, but there was something else in his voice that time. It was as if he, in a way, already knew what Cas was about to tell him. 

“You’ve always known”, said Cas out loud, as if they were sharing a quiet conversation under the stream of his own consciousness. Not quite sure of why, he smiled, approaching Dean the same way he used to do it back in the days he didn’t quite understand how human beings worked or how they reacted to having someone breathing close to their faces. Or maybe it was only Dean; he’d done that with Dean and with Dean only, as if it had always been an innate need within him to be as close as possible to him. “Do you want to touch them?”, he asked, as low as his voice allowed him. 

Dean didn’t answer, at least not right away and not with words. Instead, he just looked for his angel’s eyes and got lost in them for a moment, which he did more frequently than he would ever admit. In Castiel’s eyes, Dean was able to find all the peace he had never been able to have in the world, and as intimate as that would seem, Cas never seemed to want more from him than what he was willing to give him, understanding him so well it was as if Cas was an extension of himself. 

Thus, his right hand found the first feather. 

He felt Cas shiver against his fingers, all the feathers trembling like they have never been touched before. They were even softer than what he had anticipated, and once he started to move his fingers from one feather to the next, drowning in the sensations of that action, Cas closed his eyes and seemed to truly enjoy the touch, biting his lower lip with something that looked like want. Truth was, he had dreamed about that many times before. 

“You love me”, he finally whispered, his eyes still closed and a joyous smile crossing his face. He didn’t even realize he had said it out loud until he felt Dean’s fingers leaving his wings. 

“No, don’t chan-”, Dean started, but Cas’s words came out practically at the same time. 

“You can see my wings because you’ve finally come to terms with the fact that you’re in love with me. That’s why you’re the only human who can see them”. Saying it out loud, he felt his own smile growing wider, the biggest smile he had ever had on that face. Under other circumstances, he would had let Dean talk, but he knew that if it wasn’t then, the words would had probably died inside him. That’s what Dean wanted to know so desperately, anyways: even if Dean allowed himself to engage in deeper conversations from time to time, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still a straight-to-the-point kind of guy. “You love me, Dean Winchester”. 

Dean felt his own face burning. He didn’t know how to react, and the fact that Cas was telling the truth was not helping at all. Of course he loved Cas. He had loved Cas since the moment he had made him laugh when no one else could, when he had come back for him even when he didn’t deserve it, when he had given everything up so he could be safe. It was physically impossible for him not to be in love with him, after all they had endure together. However, Dean had always thought he would never be able to build up enough courage to tell Cas what and how he really felt. Fighting the Apocalypse? There was nothing scary there, when compared to the idea of confessing his undying love for his angel. And yet, there they were. He had told him about his feelings without even realizing he was doing so. He couldn’t help himself but to feel the deepest of shames. 

“Do you love me?”, he finally asked, with all that was left of his courage. Cas was looking at him again, in that way it seemed he was staring at his soul. It was the second time in his life he really felt intimidated by the angel, the first one being the first time he saw him. 

That was Cas’s chance to answer without using words. 

He cupped Dean’s face between his hands and slowly caressed the skin under his fingers, admiring every detail on that face he had rebuilt from scratch once upon a time. Even though he had lived too long for a human to comprehend, every second next to Dean was way more valuable than anything else he had experienced; he had never loved that way, after all. Dean almost seemed scared, but he just stayed there, that expression that made him look like a lost puppy all over his face. 

“You don’t have to be scared, Dean”. 

“I’m not”. 

That made him smile, again. 

And then, Cas’s lips found his way to Dean’s. 

He was softer than Dean had ever imagined – because yes, he had dreamed about that many times before, a thousand different realities in which they could be together, although none of them looked nothing like the one they lived in, which always made the idea of them being a thing in real life something that just wasn’t meant to happen. Cas took his time exploring his mouth, his hands moving to the back of his neck and sending shivers down Dean’s spine, and he moved so painfully slow that, even before he had the chance to get away from the hunter’s lips, Dean had already made the decision of never letting his angel go. And to think he could’ve had that before if he had come to terms with his own feelings in the first place. 

He moaned inside Cas’s mouth the moment the angel’s teeth bit into his lower lip, his answer to the sudden eagerness of Dean’s tongue against his own, which came with some surprise. Dean had moved his hands to the lapels of Cas’s tan trench coat, pulling him even closer to him, and though his eyes were still closed, he could feel the movement of Cas’s wings behind his back, getting closer to him as if they answered to Cas’s desires and all they wanted was to touch Dean, to find his fingers the same way he had looked for the dark and glistening feathers before. As if the situation needed to be more surreal than what it already was. 

“Dean”, said Cas when they finally broke the kiss, their lips red and swollen. He had that expression of pure bliss all over his face again, and there was something in it that made Dean’s heart beat faster. Even though there were still a hundred things buried in his chest that he wanted Cas to know, he didn’t say anything: right then, it was more than enough with the sound of Cas’s voice. “Are you okay?”. 

“I guess you do really love me”. 

“Of course. I love you, Dean”. 

“Since when do you love me?”. Even if he wasn’t able to pin-point the exact moment he fell in love with Cas, he was curious to know if the angel had an answer for that. 

“I’ve been in love with you since the first moment I saw you”, said Cas, in a heartbeat. Again, he was staring at his soul, and Dean was willing to let him do so. “I’ve always been fascinated by humanity, as I’ve told you before. It doesn’t matter how many times I come back to Earth, it will always amaze me how such tiny beings are able of achieving so much”. Cas seemed to get lost in his own speech, but he found his way back soon enough. “But you’ve always been something else, Dean”, he smiled, his hand finding its way to the mark that was still on Dean’s arm, the reminder of his time in Hell and how he had been saved by the very angel in front of him. Even with the fabric of his clothes in the way of Cas’s hand, the touch made him feel a foreign warmth he hadn’t experienced before. “You were something so fragile when I raised you from perdition and yet, you’re the strongest human being I have ever encountered. I would gladly give my life for you, Dean Winchester”. 

“Cas...”. He didn't even have words to describe what he was feeling, but there was something like a heartbreak in his chest, followed by a washing sensation that he was unable to comprehend. 

“And I want to be with you as long as life allows me to do it, and keep you safe in Heaven once the time comes for you to leave Earth forever. I want to love you the way I couldn’t do it before. I...”. 

He got quiet, his eyes unable to meet Dean’s. He was looking down, even if he was still so close to him that he could count his freckles if he wanted to, and he didn’t even need to wait for him to look up again to know that he had tears in his eyes. 

“Cas”, he said, in a way that it was as if he had never said his name before. “I don’t deserve this”. 

“No”, the angel conceded. “You deserve so much more”. 

That was Dean’s turn to find his way back to Cas’s mouth, that opened to him with an ease that it was as if they had been doing that since the very beginning of time, a second nature they had just discovered. That time it was more desperate than the time before, with Dean’s tears still running down his cheeks and meeting Cas’s fingertips, but it was also deeper, a true acknowledgment of their shared feelings. There were so many things that Cas had seen and tried during his many times on that planet, and many others that he had longed to try again, and yet it was still surprising how there were still so many that he was experiencing then for the first time. 

Dean felt the brush of feathers against his arms and reached for them, feelings Cas’s immediate reaction, still against his lips. He caressed them the same way he had done it before, as if they were the most precious thing he had ever held, but he dared to move closer to the angel’s back that time, getting the first real moan out of Cas when he finally made it to the smaller feathers on his back. 

Even through the tears, Dean smiled. 

“You like that?”, he whispered. Cas just nodded, almost imperceptibly. He wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder, as if he was inviting the hunter to keep on petting his wings, that were still trembling with anticipation. 

Dean’s fingers kept looking for unexplored places between the feathers of Cas’s wings while the angel just rested his weight against him. In the silence of the room he could feel the beating of Cas’s heart against his own, in synch as if they were becoming one being, his breathing against his neck, getting deeper whenever Dean would reach for the feathers that were closer to his body. There was something liberating in that action, and even though Dean was still in need of a moment to process all that had happened between them, Cas’s taste still on his lips, he just left himself go, finding his holy place in the kisses of his angel in the neck. 

“Hey, Cas”, he whispered, after what seemed to be an eternity lost in his wings. 

“Yeah?”, said Cas, almost as if it was difficult for him to make words at that moment. He seemed so ecstatic that when he moved away so he could look Dean in the eye, his blue skies were brighter than ever. 

“I love you”, he said, because he really needed to let it out. 

Cas just smiled and, like the time before, answered with a kiss. It was like being alive again. However, something else happened that time. 

At first, Dean didn’t notice. Cas’s cold hands had found their way to the edges of his shirt and finally made contact with his bare warm skin, his tongue caressing the roof of his mouth and tasting all of its corners with such possessiveness it made Dean feel vulnerable, but in a good way, if that was possible. He was so drunk with the sensations surrounding him, with the taste and smell of Cas, that he didn’t even realise that Cas was not only touching him, but actually holding him in his arms, so tight it would’ve been annoying in any other occasion. Not until he opened his eyes and saw Cas’s black wings, that were covering all he could see besides the angel himself. Cas seemed to have been trying to keep them as collected as possible all that time, even though they had already looked huge the first time Dean saw them, so low they were touching the ground whenever the angel moved around. The sight in front of the hunter then was astonishing, like nothing he had seen before. 

“Cas!”, he yelled, instinctively. What else could he do when they were suspended in the air, closer to the ceiling than to the ground? He was on the verge of freaking out. If he had always hated it when Cas had zapped him somewhere else, that was a thousand times worse. 

“I got too carried away”, answered Cas, his voice even lower than before. Even though the lights in the room were dimmed, Dean could’ve sworn the angel was blushing. That was new. “I’m sorry”. 

“It’s...”, he sighed, almost as if he couldn’t believe his own words. “It’s okay, Cas”. 

Under other circumstances, he would have needed, at least, a whole liquor store to start to be okay with that, as he had said. However, there was something about being that way with Cas, his arms wrapped around him and pulling him even closer than he was before, that made him feel incredibly safe. Protected. Even though he was the one who was always trying to save the world and protect everyone around him, he realised that he actually enjoyed to be in the other end of the spectrum. At least, if it was Cas who was taking care of him. It was new, and eerie. But it was also good. 

“Do you want me to...?”, he looked down, finishing the sentence with a gesture. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s neck and closed his eyes again. 

“No”, he answered. He pressed his face against one of Cas’s shoulders and tried to get rid of the sheer panic that was still hiding somewhere within himself like a disease. After a moment, and with the help of Cas’s fingers still caressing his skin, it was bearable. 

It was almost pathetic, he thought: Dean Winchester, the infamous Dean Winchester who was already a legend among hunters, was too scared of heights and the concept of flying not to be in the verge of an anxiety attack when faced with the perspective of being suspended in the air for more than a second. Still, and even though there was a low voice in his brain saying that it didn’t make any sense at all, being there with Cas, it almost felt right, as if he wasn’t meant to be anywhere in the world right at that very moment. Whatever the reason, the only thing he knew for sure was that he really didn’t want to leave. What else did he need? 

“Would you allow me to show you something?”, said the angel, after a while. He had been waiting for Dean’s heartbeats to return to their regular pace, knowing that Dean wasn’t really fond of heights. Dean was calm then, after struggling with himself for the longest time, brushing his lips lightly against Cas’s neck while he was getting lost in his unmistakable scent, which was like freshly cut grass after the rain with a hint of something sweet and woody, as if he was a force of nature that wasn’t meant to be there. He liked that, even if it reminded him of how insignificant he was next to the angel. 

“Will you zap me somewhere?”, Dean asked, lazily. He knew that was what Cas was implying, but it felt too good not to complain about leaving. 

“Only if you want me to”, answered Cas, somewhat concerned. Making Dean feel good was his priority at that moment. 

“I still hate that”, said Dean, still against the skin of Cas’s neck. “But I want you to show me whatever you wanted me to see”, he added. 

“Okay”, hummed Cas, happily. 

Dean kept his eyes closed and pressed himself against Cas even tighter than before, bracing himself for the disorienting sensation that always flooded him when Cas zapped him somewhere. That time, however, it wasn’t as bad as he was used to, perhaps because he was closer to him than ever, maybe because being able to see his wings had something to do with that. Whatever the case, he didn’t even feel sick when he opened his eyes again, discovering they were no longer inside his room but in the middle of the night, stars above them and the moon so big and bright it was mesmerizing. Beneath them, all he could see was trees, dark shapes lightly bathed in the moonlight. It was so, so beautiful. 

“I used to come here whenever I needed to think”, said Cas, allowing Dean some space to take a look at the new setting. Unbeknownst to Dean, Cas only needed to touch him to stay floating, but he didn’t say anything about it. He enjoyed holding Dean too much, now that he was allowed to do so. “Of all the places I’ve visited in this planet, I think this is my favourite. I wanted to share it with you”. 

Dean didn’t say anything. He just looked at Cas, thoughtfully. He knew how important it was for Cas to show him that place, and he really appreciated it, but he was still too lost for words. After all, nothing was too important when compared to Cas. Under the moonlight, the angel looked very different: even though all Dean had done up until that moment had been looking at Cas, that was the first time he realized that his wings were not the only thing that had changed to his eyes: for the first time in years, Cas didn’t look as tired as he usually looked, as if the weight of the world had fallen upon his shoulders the moment he decided to stay with Sam and Dean and rebel against Heaven’s commands. In a way, he reminded Dean of that Cas he had met right after being brought back from Hell, the very same angel he refused to believe in because it didn’t make any sense and because it was too scary to even consider it. Although he was still staring at his vessel, the body and face he was used to after so damn long, it seemed he was starting to be able to see more of his angel side coming through, and that made Jimmy Novak’s body look somewhat different, as if time had stopped and reversed itself. From the blue of his eyes to the bags underneath, he looked better than before, than ever, perhaps, and Dean had never believed that to be possible. However, he’d never imagine he’d see Cas glowing, and he could’ve sworn there was some kind of halo surrounding him, faint but still visible. 

“We still need to talk, Dean”, said Cas, interrupting his stream of thought. With that new realisation, it was like listening to him talking for the first time. He glanced at his wings again, seeing the deep blue reflections that came to the surface of the feathers from the moonlight, and he felt so nervous all of a sudden it was ridiculous. 

“What do you wanna talk about?”. 

“Us”. 

Dean sighed. That was way scarier than killing monsters, facing the Apocalypse or Satan himself. He wasn’t sure he was prepared for that. Although he had learned to open up to Cas and Sam with the passing of the years, he was still a man of action, and a very scared man when it came to talk about his feelings. 

But, of course, Cas deserved that. And there were some things he really needed to let out, too. 

“Can we go back to the ground first?”, asked Dean. 

“Whatever you want, Dean”. 

Cas took him to a place between the trees that he seemed to know from before, with soft, green grass and many different types of colourful flowers surrounding them, the type of place that seemed nobody had ever visited before. Even in the middle of the night, it felt safe to be there, as if Nature had made a sanctuary they were allowed to visit for that night, granting them their protection. It was easy to understand why Cas loved that place. Dean did so, too. 

They sat down on top of a small hill where the light of the moon was more intense, and they were quiet for a moment, still contemplating their surroundings. Even though the night was gentle, it was starting to get cold, but Dean didn’t say anything about it, getting a little bit closer to Cas so he could feel any warmth, remembering too late that he wasn’t human and his skin was usually cold. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment... and then Cas took off his trench coat and gave it to him, that soft smile that Dean knew so well on his face. 

“I should have told you before”, said Cas. Dean needed a moment to remind himself that angels didn’t feel cold, before he allowed himself to take it and put it on. It wasn’t only warm, but it was also very comfortable. Damn, he could understand why Cas was so fond of that piece of clothing. 

“Thank you”, he said. He would never admit he was blushing. 

“You’re welcome, Dean”. 

They got quiet again, a minute that seemed to stretch to eternity. Although Dean was expecting the angel to begin the conversation, he realised he was waiting for the hunter to start. It was fair enough, after all: Cas had already said enough about his feelings for Dean, but he hadn’t said more than admitting that he loved him back. 

“I never asked you”, said Dean, after considering for some time which was the best way to start talking once more. “When was the first time you saw me? Was it in Hell?”. And yes, he had always wondered about that, but he had never had the guts to ask. What was that scared him so much about that question? 

“I have been there since the beginning, Dean”, answered the angel, looking at him in a way it made him feel very small. “I wasn’t allowed to intervene until you were sent to Hell, but I have always been watching you”. 

_Angels are watching over you, baby_ , Dean heard his mother say, from a dark corner of his memories. She used to say that, back when Sam and Dean were little, when life wasn’t the insanity it became the night Mary Winchester burned in the ceiling. Those were the last words she said to him. She’d have loved to know she was right, after all. However, Dean couldn’t help himself but to think of how easier life would’ve been, if Cas were there from the beginning. It hurt, to even consider that for a second. 

“I’m scared, Cas”, Dean whispered, and it felt foreign to hear those words coming from the man who always swallowed up all the pain. “It doesn’t matter what I do, all I love never ends well. And I wouldn't forgive myself, if something ever happened to you”. 

“It is a little bit late for that, don’t you think?”, Cas smiled, although there was no joy in that. Of course, he wasn’t blaming Dean, but he had already had his fair share of suffering and loss. 

“But I am not enough. Not for you”. 

Cas tilted his head the way he used to and he just stared at Dean, as if he was deeply confused. 

“You still believe that?”, he asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”. 

“I wouldn’t _fall_ for any other human, Dean”. 

Dean didn’t even have enough time to consider the double meaning of that sentence, before one of Cas’s hands found its way to one of Dean’s, his fingers interlocked. 

“You are way more than you think you are”, smiled Cas, his eyes then fixed on their hands together. “And even if you weren’t, I love you as you are”. 

“I feel like an idiot for not telling you about my feelings before”, said Dean, trying not to melt in the midst of Cas’s words. Opposite to him, he always knew what to say, what would make Dean feel like fireworks inside his chest. “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my life, Cas”. 

And with that, he opened up like he had never done it in all his life. He talked about everything, things unsaid and those that were repeated so many times it was as if there were no more words left to say within him, stories that he only dared to tell in whispers and facts that he’d love to scream from the top of his lungs. Not even for a second, Cas dared to interrupt him, just swallowing Dean’s words, as if they were something sacred, his eyes so fixed in that human he learned to love so much it seemed as if nothing else existed. Dean talked, and talked until his words made no sense anymore, only the fact that he was so in love with Castiel it was almost painful. By the time he was done, there were new tears running down his face, but there was also a smile that was something strange, a demonstration of something new he had never been able to feel before. And it was good. 

** 

Dean fell asleep when there was no strength left in his body, covered in feathers that welcomed him like a gentle lover, while the morning dew found its way to his messy hair, that still kept the trace of Cas’s fingers in it. It was like gazing inside someone else’s dream, and Castiel hadn’t been that happy since the day he had finally been able to take Dean’s soul out of Hell. How the world had changed, it was something that still amazed him. 

Cas took him back to bed when the rain started to pour, but Dean was too tired to even notice, reacting only with a soft sigh and his body looking for a better place near Cas’s chest, still wrapped up in his trench coat. Of course, Sam would find Dean next to his coffee mug a few hours later, and Dean would still be wearing it, but he wouldn’t even try to explain a thing because there would also be Cas and his lips, his welcoming arms and the revelation of what had happened between them. 

It was about damn time, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for the title:  
> https://youhaveaguineapigwhere.tumblr.com/post/176458339875/katteens-watching-humanity-never-gets-old-does


End file.
